Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
