The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
