yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
