You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
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The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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