I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
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They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
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The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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