That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I understand Curling. That high.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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