Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
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dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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