I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize