I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Randomize
