was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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