happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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