One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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