take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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