So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
