just come out here and I will go home with you...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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