Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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