So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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