The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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