I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
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