I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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