Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
