I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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