u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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