wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
