he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
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So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
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I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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