remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
