That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
