ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
