i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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