whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
did i walk over a car last night?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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