Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
