She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Come see our sink grown plant.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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