your thong is hanging out like whoa
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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