nutella sex= disaster
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
