we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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