So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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