Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
