You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize