She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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