Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
