Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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