Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Text me some of your sweat
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
