"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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