bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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