ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Randomize
