Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
