your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
