i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
