"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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