love makes seman taste better
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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