"it" just moved
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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