But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
