Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
