I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂