I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
