DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
