sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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