I wish I only lived at night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i think i have herpe
just one?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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